Dealing And Moving On
by Willow Fireheart
Summary: Buffy gets some help in discovering what was right in front of her. [Completed]


                        DEALING AND MOVING ON.                       

Spoilers- up to the end of S5, although the S5 final is slightly AU-ish and the S2 final of Angel. 

Disclaimer- Unfortunately none of the characters in the following story are mine, except for in my dreams were Joss Whedon signs ownership over to me, but this isn't a dream so their not mine. This story also uses a lot of the lines used in 'The Gift' they don't belong to me either.

*

            Buffy stared into her sisters eyes as the tower shifted, the portal behind them growing larger. Lightning flashed around them.

            "Dawn listen to me, please there's not a lot of time, you have to listen. Dawn listen to me, listen.

            I love… I will always love you. This is the work that I have to do. Tell Giles that… tell Giles I figured it out and that I'm okay. And give my love to my friends; you have to take care of them now. You have to take care of each other. You have to be strong Dawn; the hardest thing in this world is to live in it. Be brave, live, for me."

            She leaned forward and stroked Dawn's hair. Pulling Dawn forward slightly Buffy kissed her on the check. Smiling gently Buffy pulled back and turning started to run. Leaping over the hole in the platform she reached the end and quickly launched herself into a dive off the tower.

            She fell through the air, the mass of energy catching her. Buffy's body convulsed as the energy moved through her, flowing through her blood, slowing her heart and stopping oxygen from reaching her brain. Her eyes rolled back into her head, her heart ceasing to beat as she prayed for Dawn's safety.

            The mass of energy reduced, seeming to turn in on it's self before disappearing. Without the energy supporting it Buffy's body fell, landing hard on some creates below.

            Buffy groaned and raised a hand to her head, the other sweeping across her face. She pushed herself up, brushing off the knees of her pants. She looked down at her body, which was now lying at her feet.

            "Oh, okay… This is much different than last time." Buffy turned and watched as the sun completed its rise. She breathed in a deep, but unnecessary, breath. "Never thought I'd see you again old friend."

            Buffy looked back at her friends, the people that had been her family for the past few years. Willow moved forward her arms wrapped around Tara, who had to support Willow when she stumbled seeing the body of the slayer. Giles was the closet to her, his eyes filled with pain and tears. Buffy stretched an arm towards him; she wished she could do something to ease his pain. He was the closet thing she had to a real, caring father. Xander carried and injured Anya, both their eyes filled with tears. Buffy was surprised, Xander was one of her best friends but she never really thought that Anya had liked her that much. Dawn was making her way down the stairs of the tower, her eyes trained on the body of her sister. Then there was the blood smeared Spike, ducking to avoid the deadly sunlight, his hands covering his face as he sobbed loudly.

            Buffy's heart ached. He really did love her.

            "Yes, he does. More then you can ever know." Buffy turned startled. Her mouth fell open and her eyes grew wide. "Mom? Mommy?"

            Joyce Summers stood before her clothed in white and surrounded by a white nimbus. "Hi honey."

            Joyce held out her arms and Buffy ran into them. She rested her face against her mothers shoulder and inhaled that scent that she had missed so much. Joyce stroked her hair. "You did good Buffy. I'm proud of you. The monks chose well, they knew you would protect her with your life and they were right."

            Buffy sighed. "I had to, she's my little sister. They made her out of me. They knew I had to protect my mini-me, even if it killed me. Which, you know, it did." 

            Buffy pulled back, grinning wryly and looked her mother in the eyes. "I missed you so much, we all have. I wasn't handling everything very well."

            Joyce ran a hand down the side of her face. "You were doing fine, I know its hard but it gets easier with practice." 

            Buffy frowned, confused. "But… what? Mom I'm dead, there's not going to any more chances to practice." 

            Joyce smiled gently. "You'll have years Buffy. This isn't your time."

            Tears formed in Buffy's eyes. "But mom…"

            A new voice broke in. "Your mother's right. You have to go back. You still have so much good to do."

            Buffy gasped as Jenny Calendar stood in front of her. "Jenny! Oh god Jenny I wish…"

            Jenny shook her head. "It's not your fault, I won't hear any apologies from you."

            Buffy stepped away from her mother and began to pace. "I don't understand. Death was required to stop the ritual. I'm dead I can't go back. Death was my gift."

            Jenny's face was solemn. "This is the way it was planned Buffy, you can't fight it. You have to return. The Powers That Be deemed it so."

            A fourth voice broke in. "Yeah, besides who else is going to look after Xander?"

            Jesse grinned and pushed his hair out of his eyes. "That boy's always getting into trouble."

            Buffy squealed and pulled Jesse into a bone-crunching hug. "I'm sorry, so sorry that I couldn't save you."

            Jesse hugged her back. "It's okay, not your fault. 'Sides it drove you to keep Wills and Xander safe."

            Untangling herself from a disappointed Jesse Buffy threw up her arms. "Arrgh what am I doing? No this is crazy I can't go back, its impossible. I refuse to and that's that."

            The trio faced her. "You have to. We thought you would have readily embraced this opportunity and yet you resist."

            Buffy's shoulders dropped. "It's just… I thought no more fighting, yay. It's so hard, living, and I know I told Dawn to live, to be brave but I don't think I can do it"

            Joyce placed her hands on Buffy's shoulders and looked her straight in the eyes. "You can. You're a strong person Buffy and I'm not just talking about the slayer part. You can handle it. Besides aren't there some things worth living for?"

            Joyce gestured back towards Buffy's corpse. Spike was sitting on the ground with his arms wrapped around the body slowly rocking as if she was a sleeping child. Tears continued to stream down his face as he mumbled incomprehensibly into her hair. Spike lifted his face to the sky and howled, the sound echoing the pain and sorrow he felt for the loss of his love. Buffy knelt beside him and was able to make out his mumblings. "I failed you, I failed you…"

            Silent tears trickled down Buffy's face and she reached for him, trying to cup his face. Her tears fell harder as her hand passed through him without any effect.

            Joyce placed a hand on her shoulder. "There's still so much good for you to do, so many things for you to experience." 

            Buffy rose, wiping at her tear stained face. "But what about you? I won't be able to see you again, won't know your there."

            "Oh Buffy I'll always be there. I'll always be watching over you and Dawn. Whether you realise it or not."

            Buffy let out a dry chuckle. "I don't really have a choice do I?"

            Joyce shook her head. "No, not really. But before you go I believe the others have some messages they would like you to pass on."

                        ******************************

            Joyce stood with Buffy before her body, which was still firmly in Spike's grasp. Buffy held her mother tightly; not wanting to ever let go.

            Joyce eventually broke the hug. "I love you and Dawn, always have and always will."

            Buffy wiped her eyes. "We love you too mom."

            Buffy turned to re-enter her body but was stopped by Joyce's next words. "He's a good man you know Buffy. He'll make you happy and treat you well. Just give him the opportunity, don't push him away. He always was more man than monster. Oh and don't forget the mini-marshmallows in his hot chocolate."

            Buffy smiled, trying to memorise her mother like this. "I know, don't worry we'll be fine."

                        *****************************

            Buffy inhaled sharply, oxygen quickly rushing into empty lungs. Her eyes snapped open as her heart began to beat again. Spike was bowed over her, sobbing into her chest. Buffy reached up and placed a gentle hand on his head. His head snapped up and he stared at her.

            Unaware of their audience they stared deep into each other's eyes. Buffy grinned. "Hi."

            Spike froze; he continued to stare at her. Buffy rolled her eyes and pulled Spike down into an earth-shattering kiss.

            She pulled back from Spike and stood, feeling strangely refreshed. She faced her friends and gave a small wave. "Hi guys."

            Xander carefully placed Anya on her feet, being sure to continue to support her. Buffy looked around at them nervously. "Guys?"

            Buffy let out a loud "Guugh" as the group rushed at her.

            Willow pulled back beaming, if not still a little confused. "Buffy you were dead! For like 10 minutes!"

            Xander, Anya, Giles and Tara let go of her, leaving Buffy with Dawn still very much attached and very unwilling to let go.

            "I know, didn't really go anywhere. Heard heaven is really nice though."

            Giles pulled off his glasses and began to polish them. "Heaven?"

            Buffy nodded. "Yeah, had a visit from a few old friends. I have messages for everyone. And mom made me realize something important, something that had been under my nose for a while." She smiled fondly down at the still shell shocked Spike.

            "Mom?" Dawn questioned quietly.

            Buffy nodded. "Heaven, very happy but misses us something awful."

            Xander put a finger to his lips. "So you were dead, for 10 minutes I might add, and without resuscitation was brought back to life. Not that I'm not grateful but how?"

            Buffy shrugged. "Wasn't my time yet. Still too much to do. Besides I need to keep you lot out of trouble. Like Jesse said if I'm not here who's going to save you when you get in trouble?" She grinned, making it clear she was joking.

            Willow and Xander stilled. "Jesse?"

            Buffy nodded. "One of my visitors. He's very proud of the both of you. And very jealous of Xander's love life."

            Xander puffed his chest out. "Really?"

            Buffy grinned. "Yeah, he said he couldn't figure out just how you get all these 'hot babes' to like you."

            Xander hrumphed.

            Pulling Spike to his feet she continued. "He was also very interested in Willow's relationship. Wanted to know if he could watch. Told him if you wouldn't let Xander I was chock full of doubt that you would let him."

            Willow and Tara blushed bright red and joined in with the laughter. Happy and Laughing the gang made their way home, Spike ducking through the shadows accompanied by a very content Buffy and Dawn.

                        ************************

            Angel darted up to the doors of the Hyperion. "Can I say it? I wanna say it." "Say what?" Angel threw open the doors. "There's no place like… Buffy? Spike?" Cordelia pushed her way through. "That was a little too much information." She drew level with Angel and froze. "Oh Buffy, hi. Bleach Boy."

            Buffy sat on one of the couches in the lobby, her hand firmly encased in Spike's. She smiled brightly. "Hi. I have some messages for you. From some old friends."


End file.
